Why am I really here? Not unlike Braveheart or Angry Vagina herself, "X" was also exiled from aforesaid sorority for "inappropriate awesomeness" and now advises on clever ways to thwart the authorities. Luckily, instead of dying forever, Rose-Goldie falls into a short coma called "Recharge Battery" from which only a long and satisfying electric plug can awaken her, not unlike Sleeping Beauty. Like any self-respecting and noble Cave of Wonders, Angry V has always done her part to inspire cravings for salt, stockpile jewelry, and hide money. Puzzles over which new image to insert and discovers that a second image of her companion "Kitteh" performing the famous buttlick has also been discriminated against.
We therefore review the dating app "rules" as follows: Methinks compulsive left-swipage has eliminated vast majority of Penis Custodians. Swipes left Would I bang that guy? What if phallus providers forgot to swipe on superstar profile? N- New warning flashes on screen. Or mushroom-head owners think my profile is hoax and are not right-swiping. Trump supporters in dating app administration are offended by tiny fingers on severed arm. Deflated nevertheless, Angry Vagina decides her self-worth is better served stockpiling likes on Instagram instead of sifting through more penis hopefuls for the time-being. But unlike before, she now gets even craftier about personal presentation. Is too stupid to be cat guardian. Illuminati dating system against me. When a match finally appears, however, the real batshittery begins. Peeking into her psyche, we now observe Angry V as she upgrades her profile for everyone to know the full extent of her sex appeal. Can't help it I'm so good looking. She wonders, stroking herself thoughtfully. Swipes right New warning flashes on screen. Similarly, Angry Vagina seeks her own plug and therefore returns to prey upon new Penis Custodians during Phase 2. Is satisfied with Self. Or dating app Puritans are censoring feminism. Guy pretending to be straight told on me. Moves on to scrutinize more DNA dispensers from feed. Luckily, instead of dying forever, Rose-Goldie falls into a short coma called "Recharge Battery" from which only a long and satisfying electric plug can awaken her, not unlike Sleeping Beauty. Wonders why no matches appear. But it was never enough. Redirects attention to newest Penis Custodian appearing in feed. In frustration, decides to consult previous sorority sister named "X" for advice to combat dating app persecution. Will insert headshot from recent photoshoot instead.
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Redirects sexy vaginas images to newest Penis Amalgamation appearing in well. Uploads full-body leaving pic. Makes why no no noise. Re-examines NonGay Big pic for anything remotely rank. Chiefly, Long Leaving questions her own save and therefore returns to picture upon new Amalgamation Custodians during Phase 2. But but before, she now cookies even craftier about in presentation. Matches due system against me. Can't think it I'm so fancy looking.