Who we want to be with, who we love, who we want to be sexual with is about a lot more factors than gender: Figuring out how any one of us feels in terms of orientation often is something that takes a good deal of time and life experience, and to boot, who we like to be with, who we enjoy sex with, usually is about way more than just which set of gonads a person has. Had I picked one up in February, when they're all mealy and pale, I might have come to the conclusion that I hate tomatoes. And if it wasn't and when it's not considered normal to be with who we enjoy being with, and to be sexually comfortable with who we're sexually comfortable with, then the problem isn't with us, but rather, with what people's ideas about normal are, and where they're really coming from.
Because we live in that culture, it's also often assumed that heterosexuality is a sort of default setting: After all, if everyone's happy and healthy, would should it matter if it's normal? Too, even though what you're describing is very normal and common, I'd encourage you not to get too hung up on normalcy as something to concern yourself with overmuch, anyway. Had I picked one up in February, when they're all mealy and pale, I might have come to the conclusion that I hate tomatoes. We live in a really homophobic and heterosexist culture, where it's considered pretty normal that heterosexual people will have varied opposite-sex experiences before they find particular partners and sexual activities that they like best. When it comes to sexuality, because human sexuality is SO diverse and individual, what's important isn't that we are all "normal," but that our sexuality feels authentic and good for us, that we can express it with others in ways which are physically and emotionally healthy for everyone involved, and that whatever we do with others makes us all happy. Most folks will be somewhere in the middle, even if they have stronger attractions -- be they emotional or sexual -- to any one gender or biological sex, or even if they only choose to have partnerships with people of a different gender. So, while sexual exploration isn't anything close to required for us to figure out sexual orientation and our whole sexuality, sexual exploration with partners is usually part of sussing out that puzzle in time. After that she asked me if I had ever kissed a girl and I said no then we started to make out and stuff. For some related information on this, check out: However, based on everything we know from the study of sexuality and sociology, that's a false assumption. Gender is only ONE facet of a person: Any kind of sex between people of the same gender is as normal as sex between people of different genders as far as I am concerned. Mutual masturbation among same-sex friends or groups of friends in youth is something that's been going on for a long,long time now. In other words, it is normal -- and has always been relatively common -- for people of all genders and stripes to have sexual intimacy or to explore sexuality together. Until I taste a tomato, I can only have a limited idea of if I really like tomatoes, and in addition, if I taste one and like it, it may only be because I got an amazing tomato. A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. And if it wasn't and when it's not considered normal to be with who we enjoy being with, and to be sexually comfortable with who we're sexually comfortable with, then the problem isn't with us, but rather, with what people's ideas about normal are, and where they're really coming from. Even if it had not been normal, it'd still be okay if it was something that was a positive for both of you. If it was only about that, then heterosexual people, for instance, would be equally attracted to every single member of the opposite sex, and we all know that's just not the case. Young people have a sexuality that is still forming and finding its own feet, and like any other aspect of identity development, part of figuring out what any one person likes or likes best tends to mean some experimentation and the desire to explore from a place of wide-open possibilities, as well as available opportunities. I know I'm not a lesbian but what we did was a lot of fun, is this normal for girls to do this sort of stuff together? With young adults , it's developmentally common to be less selective about -- or to have a wider net of -- sexual partners. I can know I like the smell of tomatoes, the look of tomatoes, the things tomatoes tend to go with before I actually eat one. See what I mean? The particular situation you're describing has historically been prevalent for girls and guys alike, especially in youth, even if homophobia often tends to keep people from talking about it. Mind, none of us has to have sex with a person of this gender or that to start to sort out our sexual orientation , because that's about more than just sex:
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